February 2012 -- Boxed Wine Bonanza!

Just in time for Valentine's day, this month's Wine Club taught us all about the virtues and value of boxed wine! (N.B. Franzia not allowed!)

I sadly had to miss this gathering, but was overjoyed to retain my (new) role as blogger thanks to the help of professional alumni stationary, colorful commentary, and modern technology. Thanks ladies!

And now, without further ado, the boxes -- er, wines:

1. Alyssa's Sofia Blanc de Blanc (a/k/a "Adult Juice Boxes"): $18 Whole Foods, 11.5%

Rating: 3.69

Nose: melon
Taste:

• Effervescent
• Grapefruit
• Citrus-y
• Semi-dry
• Sweet finish

According to the ladies, these lovable little 4-packs "go down way too easily!"

2. Kristin's Pinot Evil Pinot Grigio: $19.99 Whole Foods, 12.5%

Rating: 3.09

Taste:

• Honeysuckle
• Watery
• Very drinkable
• Tastes like white grape

3. Ricki's Black Box Sauvignon Blanc: $20 at Dupont Liquor, 12.5%
Rating: 2.9
Taste:

• Apple green
• Grassy (with a bite)
• Sweet and flavorful
• Floral
• Peach
• Steel barrel, not oak

4. Laura's Pinot Evil Pinot Noir: $16.99 Safeway, 12.5%
Rating 2.9
Taste:

• Smooth
• Very drinkable
• Light red color
• Plum
• Red flavored cupcake icing
• Fruity
• Cherry

Aaaaand here's where the night appears to have gotten a little interesting. According to the ladies, we "could play wine Beirut with this!" Also, our ever observant note-taker wanted the fact that both the Pinot Evil Pinot Grigio and Pinot Noir had 3 cute monkey characters on them to be recorded for posterity:

5. Steph's Patch Block Cabernet Sauvignon: $22.99, 13%
Rating: 3.19
Taste:

• Dark fruit
• Blackberry flavor!
• Oak?! (N.B. More on the interobang later!)
• Dry, flavorful
• Jammy
• Tastes like bottled wine

According to the box, the wine brings "spicy-dark fruit, pepper with hints of mint and a long, succulent, chocolatey finish."
6. Lauren's Monthaven Winery Cabernet Sauvignon: $15.99, 13.5%
Rating: 2.44
Nose:

• Oak
• Alcohol

Taste:

• Dark fruit
• Sweet
• Vanilla

Other gems abound here. It looks like the ladies debated "mapot" (muppet??) penis sizes, as well as the time-honored classic, "Two Girls One Cup."
"I like to intimidate and dominate."
7. Terri's "Needsome More" Lindemans Aussie 2011: $15.99, 12.5%
Rating: 2.31
Nose: alcohol
Taste:

• Alcohol
• Grapes
• Tannic
• Dry

Here, the girls encountered wine glass confusion, and succumbed to the most annoying of all bodily functions: "I have hiccups."
8. Bridget's Black Box Malbec 2010: $19.98, 12.5%
Rating: 2.97
Taste:

• Chocolate
• Blueberries
• Tobacco

Take-away lessons from this wine:

• "Is anyone else a little scared"?
• "Rub the ovaries"; and
• Retinal expansion. Look it up.

And now, for the long-awaited added twists, brought to you by wine-in-a-box:

• Macauley Culkin. Drugs? Or just sick?
• Muppet anatomy. This is sadly all I have to offer, but I invite you, dear wino, to help us out here.
• Last but not least, nerd alert. The interobang: sound cooler than it looks? Or vice versa. Discuss.

See you next month!